Hetalia: 2016 American election
by JEN4216
Summary: During the 2016 Presidential Election, Alfred has a split personality of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. Several of the other counties have to take care of him so he doesn't 'break his bloody neck'. How will it go? And How will Alfred handle this situation? *NOTE: THIS IS A PARODY, SO JUST ENJOY! DON'T HATE!* Love y'all! - J


A/N: This is the first do-hicky thing-a-ma-jig I made off of this show/manga...thing, so... yeah, sorry if it sucks XD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FRAPPE I AM DOING AND I'M LIKE HALF ASLEEP SO OOPS!. I just came across the show because of memes and the fact I LOVE history (call me a nerd, I don't care, **I AM TITANIUM**!). Also if you have no idea who's who or wtf this is (like me sorta oops), here's a brief summary from (Puts on Gandalf the Grey outfit) my dear friend and ally through many dangers, Wikipedia!: "The series' main presentation is as an often over-the-top allegory of political and historic events as well as more general cultural comparisons. some of the characters are personifications of countries" So... yeah... here's all you need to know:

America: Alfred F. Jones  
England: Arthur Kirkland  
North Italy: Feliciano Vargas  
Germany: Ludwig Beilschmidt  
France: Francis Bonnefoy  
Japan: Kiku Honda  
China: Yao Wang  
Canada: Matthew Williams  
Russia: Ivan Braginsky

What do I regret? NOTHING-oh wait... *takes off the Gandalf beard* K, we're back...

ALSO! ** _THIS IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE OUT THERE! IT'S A JOKE, IT'S A COMEDY, I'LL STEREOTYPE SOME CRAP, SO OH WELL, CHILL!_** AND MOST OF ALL, FREAKING ENJOY IT! LOVE Y'ALL! LET'S FINALLY GET TO THIS FREAKING STORY! I NEED TO STOP YELLING! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *falls asleep on keyboard*

Third person P.O.V

After Arthur couldn't get ahold of Alfred for a few days, the nerves got the best of him, guiding him to go make sure Alfred hadn't accidentally fallen off a banister and broke something or that he didn't get eaten by his pet whale (no crap). As soon as he saw America, he called a few of the other countries to come in and help, though he didn't say what was wrong.

Mathew, Feliciano, Ludwig, and Francis came over as soon as they could, happening to all meet at the same time. "Know what's happening, eh?" Mathew asked, to which they all said no. "Huh," Francis said, "Well, only one way to-" he was cut off when Arthur threw the door open and told them, " _I think the wanker finally ate too much hamburger grease_." Feliciano asked him, "What happened, England?" "I would like to bloody know!" Ludwig rolled his eyes, tired of this conversation, and practically shoved his way past Arthur.

"Alfred? Vere are you?" Ludwig called, Feliciano close, hiding behind him, and the others finally getting in the game and coming along. Suddenly Ludwig got hit in the face with a box of tampons. " _WOMENS RIGHTS, B****_!" Alfred yelled from the top of the stairs. Mathew asked, "Uhm, where'd he even get those?"

He proceeded to slide down the banister (Not falling off like Arthur thought he would) and on the way down yell "BUILD THE WALL! BUILD THE WALL! BUILD THE WALL!" The others were at a loss for words, even Feliciano. Francis looked to Mathew and asked, "What day is it?" "Uhh..." He thought for a minute, "November first." "Ohh," He nodded, "election, right..." Alfred picked up his red phone left over from the time he and Ivan had that... issue (i.e. the Cold War) and said, "Hold up, y'all! I'mma just go delete my email history... after I update my twitter! Oh crap! This won't work!" He threw it down and started roaming again.

Arthur face palmed in frustration and said, "Alfred, get back to bed!" "L.O.L NO!" he laughed as he jumped onto the chair, "I'LL NEVER TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU, CROOKED ARTHUR!" "What?" He asked, getting triggered, "I'm not- YOU'RE THE ONE GOING BLOODY MAD-" "Hey," Mathew said, "maybe after the election, he'll get back to normal." "He better..." Ludwig sighed, secretly embarrassed he was taken down by a box of _feminine_ _items_.

Alfred got off the couch and picked up a book, "Oh look at me, I'm a lawyer! Lemme just free this r*pist and laugh later and crap Whew whooo!" (A/N to put it the politest, least triggering way possible, _Not freaking cool_...) he threw the book and it came back down, hitting Francis in the head. Feliciano timidly stepped forward and asked, "Alfred? Are you okay?"

Alfred turned to him, grinning like Jeff the Killer and with blood shot eyes, before replying darkly, " _I like taco salad..."_ Feliciano stepped back quietly, hiding behind Ludwig. Mathew said "I say we lock him up for a week." "LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!" America yelled, running into the other room.

The five look at each other in silence before Ludwig pointed out, "Somebody vill have to stay vith the _verrückt_ to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or someone else." "I say we make Yao come over and do it." Francis said, followed by the sound of glass shattering in the kitchen and Alfred yelling "ARTHUR! THE WALL BROKE! HELP! THE MEXICANS ARE GONNA GET IN HELP!" Arthur shrugged, trying his best not to scream out loud, "I don't think I can take this much longer..." "Go fix your tea." He shrugged hearing Alfred yell "CROOKED ARTHUR! GET IN HERE!" he mumbled and yelled back, "I'm coming... _git_..." before stomping unwillingly into the kitchen.

As soon as he was out, Francis said "I volunteer Arthur, he knows him the best." "What about you?" Mathew says, "Since you're feeling in the volunteering spirt." "What about you?" Francis fires back, "You live closest to him." "So? Oh wait," He turns to Ludwig, who before he could say anything said a stern, "No." "Oh come on," Francis said, "You know, after the whole.. Nazi thing..." Ludwig felt the burn on that one and went to speak, but little Feliciano broke his silence by suggesting, "Why don't we all?" They were silent, but since the only other option would result in a near world war 3 from 'volunteering' each other, they agreed. Knowing this would be a long. crappy. week.

^^^^^^^^

WHEW! ACTUAL ANIME HERE! So Anime fans... what up? Lol, anyway, tbh, I've never even seen the series, but I saw some memes and read up for this so there. XD I'M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS CRAP! Before you write complaints (if you haven't already) this is a PARODY! CHILL OUT! I'm just trying to get people to smile after such a brutal election (best word to describe it) Sorry not sorry! Oh gosh, I'm asleep, it's 3 AM. Just sit back and enjoy the story, y'all! I also like to use Ludwig's German heritage as an excuse to write in German, because I'm trying to learn German and want to visit the Black Forest some day(Yeah, that place with Der GorBmann! SOME DAY, OVER THE RAINBOW- over the rainbow I am crazy... XD YEAH, I'M THAT WEIRD!

LOVE Y'ALL AND HAVE AN AWESOME DAY/NIGHT!


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